13. Richard Marx, Paid Vacation (1994)
Science fact: Placed end on end, Richard Marx’s platinum records—including the ones he wrote, co-wrote, and/or produced for others—would stretch to Saturn and back. His peak as a solo artist, however, came in the late ’80s with the albums Richard Marx and Repeat Offender. But even by the end of the admittedly pabulum-flavored ’80s, his tapioca pop-rock was grossly uncool. And yet, his momentum kept him afloat—all the way to his fourth full-length, 1994’s platinum-selling Paid Vacation. Seldom has an album sounded as half-assed as its title; where earlier Marx hits like “Don’t Mean Nothing” at least acknowledged the existence of soul (somewhere, perhaps down the street over there), Paid Vacation dribbles sadly, like a hose someone forgot to turn all the way off. And yet, folks still lined up to drink it.

—My brother is the biggest Richard Marx fan on the planet ;)